Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins
– First of all, I wanna just thank you allfor the privilege to behere, not only hopefullyto serve you for a few minutes here,but also to attend. I have some friends thathave gone to TED in the pastand I been thinking aboutcoming and I was on the edgeand then I got invitedand I said I wanna come. So I’ve attended about two-thirds of thisand I’ve gotten an enormous amount,not only from the speakers,but from so many people that I’ve met. I don’t think in allthe places I’ve spokenor been around, and I’ve been privilegedto be in a lot of greatplaces as I’m sure you have,I’ve ever seen such aconcentration of both talent,brains, but also passionand a common value. There’s a communityhere about contributionand is really beautiful. So I thank you, I’ll beback as a participant myselfon an ongoing basis and I thank everybodyfor their participation as well very much. Thank you. I have to tell you I’m bothchallenged and excited. My excitement is I get achance to give something back. My challenge is the shortest seminarI usually do is 50 hours. I’m not exaggerating, I do weekends,I do more than thatobviously, coach people,but I’m into immersion becausehow’d you learn language?You didn’t learn it byjust learning principles,you got in it and you did it so oftenthat it became real and mystuff isn’t preprogrammed. Something happens in theroom, I ask a questionand I play off what’s going there. And 17 minutes, that’s not gonna happen. I know we’re gonna putthe principles acrossand I’m beyond respectful to the format. I’ve gotten great value from it,although Lisa Randall,I felt very tough forhow to explain Einstein’stheories in 18 minutes. To make sure that you’re served though,’cause I really came here to serve,is I put some tapes in yourbox but I want you knowthat if you wanna use NET time, I call it,no extra time to learnsome of these thingsand use them on a deeper level. If you call my office and you’re from TED,you’re on the list, youcan get any product I have. There’s no charge for it. If you ever wanna come to a seminarI’d love to have you as my guest as wellfor something of more depth. So my gift to you. Thank you, thank you. So, the race begins. I’ve probably put a lot in here’cause I really wanna try and serve youand I hope it doesn’tjust sound like philosophysince we can’t do theinteraction at the same level,although I hope you’llparticipate with me a bit. The bottom line of why I’m here is thatI’m really in a position,I’m not here to motivate youobviously, you don’t need that. A lot of times that’swhat people think I doand it’s the furthest thing from it. What happens though is people say to me,”I don’t need any motivation!”And I say, well that’sinteresting, that’s not what I do. I’m the why guy. I wanna know why you do what you do. What is your motive for action?What is it that drivesyou in your life today,not 10 years ago, or yourunning the same pattern?Because I believe that the invisible forceof internal drive, activated,is the most important thing in the world. I’m here because I believeemotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds. Most of us here have greatminds , right?I don’t know if I’m in the category,but we all know how tothink and with our mindswe can rationalize anything,we can make anything happen. I agree with what wasdescribed a few days agoabout this idea that peoplework in their self-interest,but we all know that you don’t workin your self-interest all the time. Because when emotion comesinto it the wiring changesin the way it functions. So it’s wonderful for usto think intellectuallyabout how the life of the world is,and especially those who are very smart. We can play this game in our headbut I really wanna knowwhat’s driving you,and what I’d like tomaybe invite you to doby the end of this talk is explorewhere you are today for two reasons. One, so that you can contribute more. And two, so that hopefullywe can not just understandother people more butmaybe appreciate them moreand create the kinds ofconnections that can stopsome of the challenges thatwe face in our society todaythat are only gonna get magnifiedby the very technologythat’s connecting us. ‘Cause it’s making us intersectand that intersection doesn’talways create the viewof everybody now understands everybodyand everybody appreciates everybody. I’ve had obsession basically for 30 years,and that obsession has beenwhat makes the differencein the quality of people’s lives?What makes the differencein their performance’cause that’s what I got hired to do. I gotta produce the result now,that’s what I’ve done for 30 years. I get the phone call whenthe athlete is burning downon national television and they were aheadby five strokes and now theycan’t get back on the course. And I gotta do somethin’ right nowto get the result or nothing matters. I get the phone call when thechild’s gonna commit suicideand I gotta do somethin’ right now. And in 29 years, I’mvery grateful to tell ya,I’ve never lost one in 29 years. Doesn’t mean I won’t someday,but I haven’t done it. And the reason is theunderstanding of thesehuman needs that Iwanna talk to you about. When I get those calls about performance,that’s one thing, likehow do you make a change?But also, I’m looking to see what is itthat’s shaping that person’sability to contribute?To do something beyond themselves. So maybe the real question is,I look at life and saythere’s two master lessons. One is, there’s the science of achievementwhich almost everybodyin this room has masteredto an amazing extent. That’s how do you take theinvisible and make it visible. How do you take what you’re dreamin’ outand make it happen?Whether it be your business,your contribution to society,money, whatever it is for you. Your body, your family. But the other lesson oflife that is rarely masteredis the art of fulfillment. ‘Cause science is easy, right?We know the rules, you write the code,you fold the, and you get the result. Once you know the game, you just,you up the ante, don’t you?But when it comes tofulfillment, that’s an art,and the reason is it’s about appreciationand it’s about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself. I’ve had an interesting laboratory to tryto answer the questionof the real questionwhich is what’s thedifference in somebody’s lifeif you look at somebody like those peoplethat you’ve given everything to. Like all the resources they say they need. You gave them not ahundred-dollar computer,you gave them the best computer. You gave them love, you gave ’em joy,you were there to comfort them. And those people very often,and you know some of them I’m sure,end up the rest of theirlife with all this love,education, money, and background,spending their life goingin and out of rehab. And then you meet people that’vebeen through ultimate pain. Psychologically, sexually, spiritually,emotionally abused, and not always,but often they become some of the peoplethat contribute the most to society. So the question we gottaask ourselves really is,what is it?What is it that shapes us?We live in a therapy culture,most of us don’t do that,but the culture’s a therapyculture and what I mean by thatis the mindset that we are our past. Everybody in this room, youwouldn’t be in this roomif you bought that theory,but the most of societythinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. Of course it does if you live there. But what people in this room knowand what we have toremind ourselves though,’cause you can knowsomething intellectually. You can know what to do andthen not use it, not apply it. So really we’re gonna remind ourselvesis decision is the ultimate power. That’s what it really is. Now when you ask people,have you failed to achieve something?How many have ever failed to achievesomething significantin your life, say aye. – Aye. – Thanks for the interactionon a high level there. But if you ask people whydidn’t you achieve something?Somebody who’s working for you,or a partner, or even yourself,and you failed to achieve a goal,what’s the reason peoplesay they failed to achieve?What do they tell ya?Tell me, come on, out loud. Didn’t know enough. Didn’t have the knowledge. Didn’t have the, money. Didn’t have the, time. Didn’t have the, technology. I didn’t have the right manager. – Supreme Court. – Didn’t have the Supreme Court. And,what do all those,including the Supreme Court,have in common?They are a claim to you missing resources,and they may be accurate. You may not have the money,you may not have the Supreme Court,but that is not the defining factor. And you correct me if I’m wrong. The defining factor is never resources,it’s resourcefulness. And what I mean specificallyrather than just some phrase,is if you have emotion, human emotion,something that I experiencedfrom you day before yesterdayat a level that is as profoundas I’ve ever experienced,and if you’d communicatedwith that emotionI believe you would’ve won. But, how easy for me totell him what he should do. Idiot, Robbins. But I know, when we watch the debates,when we watched the debate at that time,there were emotions thatblocked people’s abilityto get this man’s intellect and capacityand the way they came acrossto some people on that day. ‘Cause I know people that wanted to votein your direction anddidn’t, and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I’mtalkin’ about here, say aye. – Aye. – So emotion is it, ifwe get the right emotionwe can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you’re creative enough, playful enough,fun enough, can you getthrough to anybody, yes or no?- Yes. If you don’t have themoney but you’re creativeor determined enough you find the way. So this is the ultimate resourcebut this is not the storythat people tell us. The story people tell us isa bunch of different stories. They tell us we don’t have the resourcesbut ultimately, if you take a look here,flip it up if you would. They say what are all thereasons they have in common,we’ve said that, next one please. He’s broken my pattern . But I appreciated theenergy, I’ll tell ya that. What determines your resources,we said decisions shapedestiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shapedestiny, what determines itis three decisions. What are you gonna focus on?Right now, you have to decidewhat you’re gonna focus on. In this second, consciouslyor unconsciously. The minute you decideto focus on somethingyou gotta give it a meaning. And whatever that meaningis, produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning?Is God punishing me or rewarding meor is this the roll of the dice?An emotion then creates whatwe’re gonna do, or the action. So think about your own life,the decisions that haveshaped your destiny. That sounds really heavy but in the lastfive or 10 years, 15 years,haven’t there been somedecisions you’ve madethat if you made a different decisionyour life would be completely different?How many can think of one, honestly?Better or worse, say aye. – Aye. – So the bottom line is maybeit was where to go to workand you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here. I understand that their decision wasto sell their technology at first. What if they made that decisionversus to build their own culture?How would the world be different?How would their lives bedifferent, their impact?The history of our worldis these decisions. When the woman stands up and says, no,I won’t go to the back of the bus. She didn’t just affect her life,that decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a positionlike Lance Armstrongand someone says to you,you got testicular cancer. That’s pretty tough for any male,especially if you ride a bike . You got it in your brain,you got it in your lungs. But what was his decisionof what to focus on?Different than most people. What did it mean?It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. What am I gonna do?He goes off and wins seven championshipshe never won once before the cancerbecause he got emotional fitness. Psychological strength. That’s the difference in human beingsthat I’ve seen of the threemillion I’ve been around,’cause that’s about my lab. I’ve had three million peoplefrom 80 different countriesthat I had a chanceto interact with over the last 29 years. And after a while patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africamay be connected in a certain way, right?Other people say, oh,that sounds ridiculous. It’s simple. So, what shaped Lance, what shapes you?Two invisible forces, very quickly. One, state. We all have had times, have you had a timeyou did something and after you did it,you thought to yourself Ican’t believe I said that,I can’t believe I didthat, that was so stupid. Who’s been there, say aye. – Aye. – Have you ever somethin’,after you do it you go, that was me. It wasn’t your ability, it was your state. I show people how to change that quicklybut what I wanna finishwith, quickly here,is your model of the worldis what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter. That’s what’s shaping us. That’s what makes people make decisions. When we wanna influence somebody,we gotta know whatalready influences them. And it’s made up ofthree parts, I believe. First, what’s your target,what are you after?Which I believe it’s not your desires. You can get your desires or goals. How many ever got a gotgoal or desire and thought,is this all there is?How many been there, say aye. – Aye. – So it’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs. Second, once you know what the targetthat’s driving you is andyou uncover for the truth,you don’t form it, you uncover it,then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systemsthat are telling yahow to get those needs?Some people think theway to get those needsis destroy the world, somepeople is to build something. Create something, love someone. And then there’s the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs,lemme tell you what they are. First one, certainty. Now these are not goals ordesires, these are universal. Everyone needs certaintythat they can avoid pain,at least be comfortable. Now how do you get it?Control everybody, develop a skill,give up, smoke a cigarette?If you got totally certain ironically,even though we all need that,like if you’re notcertain about your healthor your children or money, youdon’t think about much more. You’re not sure theceiling’s gonna hold up,you’re not gonna listen to any speaker. But, while we go forcertainty differently,if we get total certainty, we get what?What do you feel if you’re certain?You know what’s gonna happen,when it’s gonna happen,how it’s gonna happen,what would you feel?Bored outta your minds, soGod in Her infinite wisdom gave us a second humanneed which is uncertainty. We need variety, we need surprise. How many of you herelove surprises, say aye. – Aye. – You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t want you call problemsbut you need them. Variety’s important. Have you ever rented video or a filmthat you’ve already seen, who’s done this?Why are you doing it?You’re certain it’s good’cause you read it before,saw it before, but you’rehoping it’s been long enoughyou’ve forgotten that there’s variety. Third human need, critical, significance. We all need to feelimportant, special, unique. You can get it by makin’ more money,you can do it by being more spiritual,you can do it by gettingyourself in a situationwhere you put more tattoos and earringsin places humans don’t wanna know. Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do thisif you have no background,no culture, and no belief in resourcesor resourcefulness is violence. If I put a gun to your headand I live in the hood,instantly I’m significant. Zero to 10, how high?10. How certain am I you’regonna respond to me?10. How much uncertainty?Who knows what’s gonna happen next?Kind of exciting, likeclimbin’ up into a caveand doin’ that stuffall the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty,and it’s significant, isn’t it?So you’re willing torisk your life for it. That’s why violencehas always been around,will be around unless we havea consciousness change as a species. Now you can getsignificance a million ways,but to be significant yougotta be unique and different. Here’s what we really need,connection and love, fourth thing. We all want it, most peoplesettle for connection’cause love’s too scary. Don’t wanna get hurt. Who here’s ever been hurtin an intimate relationship, say aye. And you’re gonna get hurt again,aren’t you glad you cameto this positive visit?But here’s what’s true, we need it. We can do it throughintimacy, through friendship,through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don’t get a cat, get adog ’cause if you leavefor two minutes it’s likeyou’ve been for six monthswhen you show back up againfive minutes later, right?Now these first four needsevery human finds a way to meet. Even if you lie to yourself,even if you have split personalities. The first four needs are called the needsof the personality, is what I call it. The last two are the needs of the spirit,and this is where fulfillment comes. You won’t get fulfillmentfrom the first four. You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink,do whatever, meet the first four,but the last two, numberfive, you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don’t grow you what?If a relationship’s not growing,if a business is not growing,if you’re not growing, itdoesn’t matter how muchmoney you have, how many friends you have,how many people loveyou, you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe,is so we have something to give of value,’cause the sixth need is tocontribute beyond ourselves. ‘Cause we all know, corny as it sounds,the secret to living’s giving. We all know life’s notabout me, it’s about we. This culture knows that,this room knows that,and it’s exciting. When you see Nicholasup here talking abouthis hundred-dollar computer,the most passionate,exciting is here’s a genius,but he’s got a calling now. You can feel the differencein him and it’s beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touchedbecause when I was 11 years old,Thanksgiving, no money, no food,and we’re not gonna starvebut my father was totally messed up,my mom was letting himknow how bad he messed up,and somebody came to thedoor and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were, briefly. His focus was, this is charity,what does it mean, I’mworthless, what do I gotta do?Leave my family, which he did. The time one of the mostpainful experiences of life. My three decisions gaveme a different path. I said focus on, there’s food,what a concept . Second, but this is what changed my life,this is what shaped me as a human being. Somebody’s gift, I don’teven know who it is. They’re not asking for it,there’s just giving our familyfood, looking out for us. It made me believethis, what does it mean?That strangers care. And what that made me decide is,if strangers care about me andmy family, I care about them. What am I gonna do?I’m gonna do somethin’, make a difference. So when I was 17 I went outone day on Thanksgiving,it was my target for years,have enough money, feed two families. Most fun thing I ever didin my life, most moving. Then next year I did four. And I didn’t tellanybody what I was doing. Next year, eight. I wasn’t doin’ it for brownie points,but after eight I thoughtI could use some help. So sure enough, I wentout and what did I do?I got my friends involvedand I grew companiesand then I got 11 companies,then I built the foundation. Now 18 years later, I’m proud to tell ya,last year we fed two millionpeople in 35 countriesthrough our foundationall during the holidays,Thanksgiving, Christmas,in all the differentcountries around the world. It’s been fantastic. Thank you. I don’t tell ya to brag,I tell ya ’cause I’m proudof human beings because theyget excited to contributeonce they’ve had tochance to experience it,not talk about it. So finally, I’m ’bout outta time,the target that shapes you,here’s what’s different about people. We have the same needs butare you a certainty freak?Is that what you value most?Or uncertainty?This man here couldn’tbe a certainty freakif he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love?We all need all six butwhatever your lead system istilts you in a different direction,and as you move in a directionyou have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating systemtells you how to get there,and some people’s map isI’m gonna save lives evenif I die for other people,and they’re firemen. Somebody else is I’m gonnakill people to do it. They’re tryin’ to meet thesame needs of significance. They wanna honor Godor honor their family,but they have a different map. And there are seven different beliefs,can’t go through them ’cause I’m done. The last piece is emotion. I’d say one of the partsof the map is like time. Some people’s idea of a longtime is a hundred years. Somebody else’s is threeseconds which is what I have. and the last one I’ve alreadymentioned it, fills you. If you got target and you got a map,and let’s say, I can’t useGoogle ’cause I love Macsand they haven’t madeit good for Macs yet. So if you use Mapquest, how many have madethis fatal mistake ofusing Mapquest at sometime? You use this thing and don’t get there. Well imagine if your beliefs guaranteeyou can never get to where you wanna go. Last thing is emotion. Now here’s what I’lltell ya about emotion. There are 6,000 emotionsthat we all have words forin the English language which justis a linguistic representation, right?It changes by language. But, if your dominant emotions,if I had more time, I have20,000 people or a thousand,and I have ’em write down all the emotionsthat they experience in a average week,and I give ’em as long as they need. And on one side the writeempowering emotions,the other’s disempowering. Guess how many emotions people experience,less than 12. And half of those make them feel like. So they got five or sixgood frickin’ feelings. It’s like they feel happy, happy, excited,oh, frustrated, frustrated,overwhelmed, depressed. How many of you know somebody whono matter what happens findsa way to get pissed off?How many know somebody like this? Or no matter what happens they find a wayto be happy or excited. How many know somebody like this, come on. When 9/11 happened, andI’ll finish with this,I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries,we were translating fourlanguages simultaneouslyfor a program that I wasconducting for a week. The night before wascalled Emotional Mastery. I got up, had no planfor this, and I said,we all this fireworks,I do crazy, fun stuff. And then at the end Istopped, I had this planI was gonna say but I neverdo what I’m gonna say,and all of a sudden I said, when do peoplereally start to live?When they face death. Then I went through this whole thing aboutif you weren’t gonna get off this island,if nine days from now you were gonna die,who would you call, what would you say,what would ya do?Well that night is when 9/11 happened. One woman had come to theseminar and when she came there,her previous boyfriend hadbeen kidnapped and murdered. Her friend, her newboyfriend, wanted to marry herand she said no. He said, “If you leave andgo to that Hawaii thing”it’s over with us. “She said it’s over. When I finished that night, she called himand left a message, true story,at the top of the WorldTrade Center where he worked,saying, “Honey, I love you. “I just want ya to know I wanna marry you,”it was stupid of me. “She was asleep ’cause it was 3am for uswhen he called her backfrom the top and said,”Honey, I can’t tell you what this means. “He said, “I don’t knowhow to tell you this”but you gave me the greatestgift ’cause I’m gonna die. “And she played the recordingfor us in the room. She was on Larry King Live. And he said you’re probably wonderinghow on Earth this couldhappen to you twice,and he said all I can say to you is,this must be God’s message to you, honey,from now on, every day, giveyour all, love your all. Don’t let anything ever stop you. She finishes and a manstands up and he says,”I’m from Pakistan, I’m a muslim. “I’d love to hold yourhand and say I’m sorry”but frankly this is retribution. “I can’t tell ya the rest’cause I’m outta time. Really, are you sure?- Finish the story. – Ten seconds!Ten seconds, so I wanna be respectful. Ten seconds, all I can tellya is I brought this manon stage with a man from New Yorkwho worked in the World Trade Center,’cause I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50 had losttheir entire companies,their friends, markingoff their Palm Pilots. One financial trader, thiswoman made of steel, bawling,30 friends crossing off that all died. What I did to people is said,what are we gonna focus on?What does this mean andwhat are we gonna do?I took the group andgot people to focus onif you didn’t lose somebody today,your focus is gonna be howto serve somebody else. One woman got up and shewas so angry and screamingand yelling and then I found outshe wasn’t from New York,she’s not an American,she doesn’t know anybody here. I said do you always get angry?She said yes. Guilty people got guilty,sad people got sad. And I took these twomen and did what I callan indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family inthe occupied territories,some New York who would’ve diedif he was at work that day,and this man who wanted to be a terroristand made it very clear. And the integration thathappened is on a filmwhich I’ll be happy to send youso you can really see what actual happenedinstead of my verbalization of it. But the two of them not only came togetherand changed their beliefsand models of the world,but they worked together to bring,for almost four years now,to various mosques and synagogues,the idea of how to create peace. And he wrote a book which is calledMy Jihad, My Way of Peace. So transformation can happen. So my invitation to you is this,explore your web, the web in here. The needs, the beliefs,the emotions that arecontrolling you, for two reasons. So there’s more of youto give, and achieve too,we all wanna do it, but I mean give,’cause that’s what’s gonna fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate,not just understand, that’sintellectual, that’s the mind,but appreciate what’sdriving other people. It’s the only way ourworld’s gonna change. God bless you, thank you,I hope this was served. – Tony Robbins. Tony, come back up here. You gotta just recognize it . – Thank you very much, thank you.