Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins

– First of all, I wanna just thank you allfor the privilege to be
here, not only hopefullyto serve you for a few minutes here,but also to attend. I have some friends that
have gone to TED in the pastand I been thinking about
coming and I was on the edgeand then I got invited
and I said I wanna come. So I’ve attended about two-thirds of thisand I’ve gotten an enormous amount,not only from the speakers,but from so many people that I’ve met. I don’t think in all
the places I’ve spokenor been around, and I’ve been privilegedto be in a lot of great
places as I’m sure you have,I’ve ever seen such a
concentration of both talent,brains, but also passion
and a common value. There’s a community
here about contributionand is really beautiful. So I thank you, I’ll be
back as a participant myselfon an ongoing basis and I thank everybodyfor their participation as well very much. Thank you. I have to tell you I’m both
challenged and excited. My excitement is I get a
chance to give something back. My challenge is the shortest seminarI usually do is 50 hours. I’m not exaggerating, I do weekends,I do more than that
obviously, coach people,but I’m into immersion because
how’d you learn language?You didn’t learn it by
just learning principles,you got in it and you did it so oftenthat it became real and my
stuff isn’t preprogrammed. Something happens in the
room, I ask a questionand I play off what’s going there. And 17 minutes, that’s not gonna happen. I know we’re gonna put
the principles acrossand I’m beyond respectful to the format. I’ve gotten great value from it,although Lisa Randall,
I felt very tough forhow to explain Einstein’s
theories in 18 minutes. To make sure that you’re served though,’cause I really came here to serve,is I put some tapes in your
box but I want you knowthat if you wanna use NET time, I call it,no extra time to learn
some of these thingsand use them on a deeper level. If you call my office and you’re from TED,you’re on the list, you
can get any product I have. There’s no charge for it. If you ever wanna come to a seminarI’d love to have you as my guest as wellfor something of more depth. So my gift to you. Thank you, thank you. So, the race begins. I’ve probably put a lot in here’cause I really wanna try and serve youand I hope it doesn’t
just sound like philosophysince we can’t do the
interaction at the same level,although I hope you’ll
participate with me a bit. The bottom line of why I’m here is thatI’m really in a position,
I’m not here to motivate youobviously, you don’t need that. A lot of times that’s
what people think I doand it’s the furthest thing from it. What happens though is people say to me,”I don’t need any motivation!”And I say, well that’s
interesting, that’s not what I do. I’m the why guy. I wanna know why you do what you do. What is your motive for action?What is it that drives
you in your life today,not 10 years ago, or you
running the same pattern?Because I believe that the invisible forceof internal drive, activated,is the most important thing in the world. I’m here because I believe
emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds. Most of us here have great
minds , right?I don’t know if I’m in the category,but we all know how to
think and with our mindswe can rationalize anything,
we can make anything happen. I agree with what was
described a few days agoabout this idea that people
work in their self-interest,but we all know that you don’t workin your self-interest all the time. Because when emotion comes
into it the wiring changesin the way it functions. So it’s wonderful for us
to think intellectuallyabout how the life of the world is,and especially those who are very smart. We can play this game in our headbut I really wanna know
what’s driving you,and what I’d like to
maybe invite you to doby the end of this talk is explorewhere you are today for two reasons. One, so that you can contribute more. And two, so that hopefully
we can not just understandother people more but
maybe appreciate them moreand create the kinds of
connections that can stopsome of the challenges that
we face in our society todaythat are only gonna get magnifiedby the very technology
that’s connecting us. ‘Cause it’s making us intersectand that intersection doesn’t
always create the viewof everybody now understands everybodyand everybody appreciates everybody. I’ve had obsession basically for 30 years,and that obsession has been
what makes the differencein the quality of people’s lives?What makes the difference
in their performance’cause that’s what I got hired to do. I gotta produce the result now,that’s what I’ve done for 30 years. I get the phone call when
the athlete is burning downon national television and they were aheadby five strokes and now they
can’t get back on the course. And I gotta do somethin’ right nowto get the result or nothing matters. I get the phone call when the
child’s gonna commit suicideand I gotta do somethin’ right now. And in 29 years, I’m
very grateful to tell ya,I’ve never lost one in 29 years. Doesn’t mean I won’t someday,
but I haven’t done it. And the reason is the
understanding of thesehuman needs that I
wanna talk to you about. When I get those calls about performance,that’s one thing, like
how do you make a change?But also, I’m looking to see what is itthat’s shaping that person’s
ability to contribute?To do something beyond themselves. So maybe the real question is,I look at life and say
there’s two master lessons. One is, there’s the science of achievementwhich almost everybody
in this room has masteredto an amazing extent. That’s how do you take the
invisible and make it visible. How do you take what you’re dreamin’ outand make it happen?Whether it be your business,your contribution to society,money, whatever it is for you. Your body, your family. But the other lesson of
life that is rarely masteredis the art of fulfillment. ‘Cause science is easy, right?We know the rules, you write the code,you fold the, and you get the result. Once you know the game, you just,you up the ante, don’t you?But when it comes to
fulfillment, that’s an art,and the reason is it’s about appreciationand it’s about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself. I’ve had an interesting laboratory to tryto answer the question
of the real questionwhich is what’s the
difference in somebody’s lifeif you look at somebody like those peoplethat you’ve given everything to. Like all the resources they say they need. You gave them not a
hundred-dollar computer,you gave them the best computer. You gave them love, you gave ’em joy,you were there to comfort them. And those people very often,and you know some of them I’m sure,end up the rest of their
life with all this love,education, money, and background,spending their life going
in and out of rehab. And then you meet people that’ve
been through ultimate pain. Psychologically, sexually, spiritually,emotionally abused, and not always,but often they become some of the peoplethat contribute the most to society. So the question we gotta
ask ourselves really is,what is it?What is it that shapes us?We live in a therapy culture,
most of us don’t do that,but the culture’s a therapy
culture and what I mean by thatis the mindset that we are our past. Everybody in this room, you
wouldn’t be in this roomif you bought that theory,but the most of society
thinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. Of course it does if you live there. But what people in this room knowand what we have to
remind ourselves though,’cause you can know
something intellectually. You can know what to do and
then not use it, not apply it. So really we’re gonna remind ourselvesis decision is the ultimate power. That’s what it really is. Now when you ask people,have you failed to achieve something?How many have ever failed to achievesomething significant
in your life, say aye. – Aye. – Thanks for the interaction
on a high level there. But if you ask people why
didn’t you achieve something?Somebody who’s working for you,or a partner, or even yourself,and you failed to achieve a goal,what’s the reason people
say they failed to achieve?What do they tell ya?Tell me, come on, out loud. Didn’t know enough. Didn’t have the knowledge. Didn’t have the, money. Didn’t have the, time. Didn’t have the, technology. I didn’t have the right manager. – Supreme Court. – Didn’t have the Supreme Court. And,what do all those,
including the Supreme Court,have in common?They are a claim to you missing resources,and they may be accurate. You may not have the money,you may not have the Supreme Court,but that is not the defining factor. And you correct me if I’m wrong. The defining factor is never resources,it’s resourcefulness. And what I mean specifically
rather than just some phrase,is if you have emotion, human emotion,something that I experienced
from you day before yesterdayat a level that is as profound
as I’ve ever experienced,and if you’d communicated
with that emotionI believe you would’ve won. But, how easy for me to
tell him what he should do. Idiot, Robbins. But I know, when we watch the debates,when we watched the debate at that time,there were emotions that
blocked people’s abilityto get this man’s intellect and capacityand the way they came across
to some people on that day. ‘Cause I know people that wanted to votein your direction and
didn’t, and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I’m
talkin’ about here, say aye. – Aye. – So emotion is it, if
we get the right emotionwe can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you’re creative enough, playful enough,fun enough, can you get
through to anybody, yes or no?- Yes. If you don’t have the
money but you’re creativeor determined enough you find the way. So this is the ultimate resourcebut this is not the story
that people tell us. The story people tell us is
a bunch of different stories. They tell us we don’t have the resourcesbut ultimately, if you take a look here,flip it up if you would. They say what are all the
reasons they have in common,we’ve said that, next one please. He’s broken my pattern . But I appreciated the
energy, I’ll tell ya that. What determines your resources,we said decisions shape
destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shape
destiny, what determines itis three decisions. What are you gonna focus on?Right now, you have to decide
what you’re gonna focus on. In this second, consciously
or unconsciously. The minute you decide
to focus on somethingyou gotta give it a meaning. And whatever that meaning
is, produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning?Is God punishing me or rewarding meor is this the roll of the dice?An emotion then creates what
we’re gonna do, or the action. So think about your own life,the decisions that have
shaped your destiny. That sounds really heavy but in the lastfive or 10 years, 15 years,haven’t there been some
decisions you’ve madethat if you made a different decisionyour life would be completely different?How many can think of one, honestly?Better or worse, say aye. – Aye. – So the bottom line is maybe
it was where to go to workand you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here. I understand that their decision wasto sell their technology at first. What if they made that decisionversus to build their own culture?How would the world be different?How would their lives be
different, their impact?The history of our world
is these decisions. When the woman stands up and says, no,I won’t go to the back of the bus. She didn’t just affect her life,that decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position
like Lance Armstrongand someone says to you,
you got testicular cancer. That’s pretty tough for any male,especially if you ride a bike . You got it in your brain,
you got it in your lungs. But what was his decision
of what to focus on?Different than most people. What did it mean?It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. What am I gonna do?He goes off and wins seven championshipshe never won once before the cancerbecause he got emotional fitness. Psychological strength. That’s the difference in human beingsthat I’ve seen of the three
million I’ve been around,’cause that’s about my lab. I’ve had three million peoplefrom 80 different countries
that I had a chanceto interact with over the last 29 years. And after a while patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africamay be connected in a certain way, right?Other people say, oh,
that sounds ridiculous. It’s simple. So, what shaped Lance, what shapes you?Two invisible forces, very quickly. One, state. We all have had times, have you had a timeyou did something and after you did it,you thought to yourself I
can’t believe I said that,I can’t believe I did
that, that was so stupid. Who’s been there, say aye. – Aye. – Have you ever somethin’,
after you do it you go, that was me. It wasn’t your ability, it was your state. I show people how to change that quicklybut what I wanna finish
with, quickly here,is your model of the world
is what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter. That’s what’s shaping us. That’s what makes people make decisions. When we wanna influence somebody,we gotta know what
already influences them. And it’s made up of
three parts, I believe. First, what’s your target,
what are you after?Which I believe it’s not your desires. You can get your desires or goals. How many ever got a got
goal or desire and thought,is this all there is?How many been there, say aye. – Aye. – So it’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs. Second, once you know what the targetthat’s driving you is and
you uncover for the truth,you don’t form it, you uncover it,then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systems
that are telling yahow to get those needs?Some people think the
way to get those needsis destroy the world, some
people is to build something. Create something, love someone. And then there’s the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs,
lemme tell you what they are. First one, certainty. Now these are not goals or
desires, these are universal. Everyone needs certainty
that they can avoid pain,at least be comfortable. Now how do you get it?Control everybody, develop a skill,give up, smoke a cigarette?If you got totally certain ironically,even though we all need that,like if you’re not
certain about your healthor your children or money, you
don’t think about much more. You’re not sure the
ceiling’s gonna hold up,you’re not gonna listen to any speaker. But, while we go for
certainty differently,if we get total certainty, we get what?What do you feel if you’re certain?You know what’s gonna happen,
when it’s gonna happen,how it’s gonna happen,
what would you feel?Bored outta your minds, so
God in Her infinite wisdom gave us a second human
need which is uncertainty. We need variety, we need surprise. How many of you here
love surprises, say aye. – Aye. – You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t want you call problemsbut you need them. Variety’s important. Have you ever rented video or a filmthat you’ve already seen, who’s done this?Why are you doing it?You’re certain it’s good
’cause you read it before,saw it before, but you’re
hoping it’s been long enoughyou’ve forgotten that there’s variety. Third human need, critical, significance. We all need to feel
important, special, unique. You can get it by makin’ more money,you can do it by being more spiritual,you can do it by getting
yourself in a situationwhere you put more tattoos and earringsin places humans don’t wanna know. Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this
if you have no background,no culture, and no belief in resourcesor resourcefulness is violence. If I put a gun to your head
and I live in the hood,instantly I’m significant. Zero to 10, how high?10. How certain am I you’re
gonna respond to me?10. How much uncertainty?Who knows what’s gonna happen next?Kind of exciting, like
climbin’ up into a caveand doin’ that stuff
all the way down there. Total variety and uncertainty,and it’s significant, isn’t it?So you’re willing to
risk your life for it. That’s why violence
has always been around,will be around unless we havea consciousness change as a species. Now you can get
significance a million ways,but to be significant you
gotta be unique and different. Here’s what we really need,connection and love, fourth thing. We all want it, most people
settle for connection’cause love’s too scary. Don’t wanna get hurt. Who here’s ever been hurtin an intimate relationship, say aye. And you’re gonna get hurt again,aren’t you glad you came
to this positive visit?But here’s what’s true, we need it. We can do it through
intimacy, through friendship,through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don’t get a cat, get a
dog ’cause if you leavefor two minutes it’s like
you’ve been for six monthswhen you show back up again
five minutes later, right?Now these first four needs
every human finds a way to meet. Even if you lie to yourself,even if you have split personalities. The first four needs are called the needsof the personality, is what I call it. The last two are the needs of the spirit,and this is where fulfillment comes. You won’t get fulfillment
from the first four. You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink,do whatever, meet the first four,but the last two, number
five, you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don’t grow you what?If a relationship’s not growing,if a business is not growing,if you’re not growing, it
doesn’t matter how muchmoney you have, how many friends you have,how many people love
you, you feel like hell. And the reason we grow, I believe,is so we have something to give of value,’cause the sixth need is to
contribute beyond ourselves. ‘Cause we all know, corny as it sounds,the secret to living’s giving. We all know life’s not
about me, it’s about we. This culture knows that,
this room knows that,and it’s exciting. When you see Nicholas
up here talking abouthis hundred-dollar computer,the most passionate,
exciting is here’s a genius,but he’s got a calling now. You can feel the difference
in him and it’s beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touchedbecause when I was 11 years old,Thanksgiving, no money, no food,and we’re not gonna starvebut my father was totally messed up,my mom was letting him
know how bad he messed up,and somebody came to the
door and delivered food. My father made three decisions. I know what they were, briefly. His focus was, this is charity,what does it mean, I’m
worthless, what do I gotta do?Leave my family, which he did. The time one of the most
painful experiences of life. My three decisions gave
me a different path. I said focus on, there’s food,
what a concept . Second, but this is what changed my life,this is what shaped me as a human being. Somebody’s gift, I don’t
even know who it is. They’re not asking for it,there’s just giving our family
food, looking out for us. It made me believe
this, what does it mean?That strangers care. And what that made me decide is,if strangers care about me and
my family, I care about them. What am I gonna do?I’m gonna do somethin’, make a difference. So when I was 17 I went out
one day on Thanksgiving,it was my target for years,have enough money, feed two families. Most fun thing I ever did
in my life, most moving. Then next year I did four. And I didn’t tell
anybody what I was doing. Next year, eight. I wasn’t doin’ it for brownie points,but after eight I thought
I could use some help. So sure enough, I went
out and what did I do?I got my friends involved
and I grew companiesand then I got 11 companies,
then I built the foundation. Now 18 years later, I’m proud to tell ya,last year we fed two million
people in 35 countriesthrough our foundation
all during the holidays,Thanksgiving, Christmas,in all the different
countries around the world. It’s been fantastic. Thank you.
I don’t tell ya to brag,
I tell ya ’cause I’m proudof human beings because they
get excited to contributeonce they’ve had to
chance to experience it,not talk about it. So finally, I’m ’bout outta time,the target that shapes you,here’s what’s different about people. We have the same needs but
are you a certainty freak?Is that what you value most?Or uncertainty?This man here couldn’t
be a certainty freakif he climbed through those caves. Are you driven by significance or love?We all need all six but
whatever your lead system istilts you in a different direction,and as you move in a directionyou have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map. Think of that as the operating systemtells you how to get there,
and some people’s map isI’m gonna save lives even
if I die for other people,and they’re firemen. Somebody else is I’m gonna
kill people to do it. They’re tryin’ to meet the
same needs of significance. They wanna honor God
or honor their family,but they have a different map. And there are seven different beliefs,can’t go through them ’cause I’m done. The last piece is emotion. I’d say one of the parts
of the map is like time. Some people’s idea of a long
time is a hundred years. Somebody else’s is three
seconds which is what I have. and the last one I’ve already
mentioned it, fills you. If you got target and you got a map,and let’s say, I can’t use
Google ’cause I love Macsand they haven’t made
it good for Macs yet. So if you use Mapquest, how many have madethis fatal mistake of
using Mapquest at sometime? You use this thing and don’t get there. Well imagine if your beliefs guaranteeyou can never get to where you wanna go. Last thing is emotion. Now here’s what I’ll
tell ya about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions
that we all have words forin the English language which justis a linguistic representation, right?It changes by language. But, if your dominant emotions,if I had more time, I have
20,000 people or a thousand,and I have ’em write down all the emotionsthat they experience in a average week,and I give ’em as long as they need. And on one side the write
empowering emotions,the other’s disempowering. Guess how many emotions people experience,less than 12. And half of those make them feel like. So they got five or six
good frickin’ feelings. It’s like they feel happy, happy, excited,oh, frustrated, frustrated,
overwhelmed, depressed. How many of you know somebody whono matter what happens finds
a way to get pissed off?How many know somebody like this? Or no matter what happens they find a wayto be happy or excited. How many know somebody like this, come on. When 9/11 happened, and
I’ll finish with this,I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries,we were translating four
languages simultaneouslyfor a program that I was
conducting for a week. The night before was
called Emotional Mastery. I got up, had no plan
for this, and I said,we all this fireworks,
I do crazy, fun stuff. And then at the end I
stopped, I had this planI was gonna say but I never
do what I’m gonna say,and all of a sudden I said, when do peoplereally start to live?When they face death. Then I went through this whole thing aboutif you weren’t gonna get off this island,if nine days from now you were gonna die,who would you call, what would you say,what would ya do?Well that night is when 9/11 happened. One woman had come to the
seminar and when she came there,her previous boyfriend had
been kidnapped and murdered. Her friend, her new
boyfriend, wanted to marry herand she said no. He said, “If you leave and
go to that Hawaii thing”it’s over with us. “She said it’s over. When I finished that night, she called himand left a message, true story,at the top of the World
Trade Center where he worked,saying, “Honey, I love you. “I just want ya to know I wanna marry you,”it was stupid of me. “She was asleep ’cause it was 3am for uswhen he called her back
from the top and said,”Honey, I can’t tell you what this means. “He said, “I don’t know
how to tell you this”but you gave me the greatest
gift ’cause I’m gonna die. “And she played the recording
for us in the room. She was on Larry King Live. And he said you’re probably wonderinghow on Earth this could
happen to you twice,and he said all I can say to you is,this must be God’s message to you, honey,from now on, every day, give
your all, love your all. Don’t let anything ever stop you. She finishes and a man
stands up and he says,”I’m from Pakistan, I’m a muslim. “I’d love to hold your
hand and say I’m sorry”but frankly this is retribution. “I can’t tell ya the rest
’cause I’m outta time. Really, are you sure?- Finish the story. – Ten seconds!Ten seconds, so I wanna be respectful. Ten seconds, all I can tell
ya is I brought this manon stage with a man from New Yorkwho worked in the World Trade Center,’cause I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50 had lost
their entire companies,their friends, marking
off their Palm Pilots. One financial trader, this
woman made of steel, bawling,30 friends crossing off that all died. What I did to people is said,what are we gonna focus on?What does this mean and
what are we gonna do?I took the group and
got people to focus onif you didn’t lose somebody today,your focus is gonna be how
to serve somebody else. One woman got up and she
was so angry and screamingand yelling and then I found outshe wasn’t from New York,
she’s not an American,she doesn’t know anybody here. I said do you always get angry?She said yes. Guilty people got guilty,
sad people got sad. And I took these two
men and did what I callan indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family in
the occupied territories,some New York who would’ve died
if he was at work that day,and this man who wanted to be a terroristand made it very clear. And the integration that
happened is on a filmwhich I’ll be happy to send youso you can really see what actual happenedinstead of my verbalization of it. But the two of them not only came togetherand changed their beliefs
and models of the world,but they worked together to bring,for almost four years now,to various mosques and synagogues,the idea of how to create peace. And he wrote a book which is calledMy Jihad, My Way of Peace. So transformation can happen. So my invitation to you is this,explore your web, the web in here. The needs, the beliefs,the emotions that are
controlling you, for two reasons. So there’s more of you
to give, and achieve too,we all wanna do it, but I mean give,’cause that’s what’s gonna fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate,not just understand, that’s
intellectual, that’s the mind,but appreciate what’s
driving other people. It’s the only way our
world’s gonna change. God bless you, thank you,
I hope this was served. – Tony Robbins. Tony, come back up here. You gotta just recognize it . – Thank you very much, thank you.